Back to the Future, Eh?

So, Microsoft, those whippersnappers, think they’ve invented something new, do they? ‘Light-based computer,’ they crow. ‘Inspired by 80-year-old technology.’ Eighty years! That’s practically yesterday for some of us, but these kids act like they just discovered fire. They’re all giddy about micro-LEDs and camera sensors, saying it’ll make AI ‘100 times more efficient.’ Efficient at what, I ask? Efficient at making my smart fridge order more kale I don’t want?

The Good Old Days of Switches

Now, back in my day, we had switches. Good, honest, physical switches. You flipped ‘em, they worked. None of this ‘light’ nonsense. You knew where you stood. You could see the logic working. Now, it’s all invisible light beams and ‘new computing paradigms.’ Paradigm, schmeeradigm. It’s just a fancy word for ‘we’re making it more complicated than it needs to be.’ They’re trying to solve a problem they created in the first place, with all their cloud computing and ‘neural networks’ that gobble up more power than a small city. It’s like building a bigger bucket to catch more leaks from a sieve you designed yourself.

The Energy Conundrum

They talk about reducing energy demands. Energy demands. You know what reduced energy demands? Turning the damn computer off! Or, better yet, not having a computer that needs to simulate a thousand human brains just to suggest I watch another cat video. This AI craze, it’s getting out of hand. Pretty soon, your toaster will be ‘thinking’ about the optimal crispness for your sourdough, and demanding its own power grid. And for what? So we can all stare blankly at screens while the machines do all the ‘thinking’ for us? We’re already halfway there. My grandson can’t even tie his shoes without asking his ‘digital assistant’ for instructions. Pathetic.

A Fool’s Errand?

This ‘new computing paradigm’ sounds like a solution in search of a problem. Or, more accurately, a solution to a problem that shouldn’t exist if we just stuck to the basics. Give me a command line, a decent processor, and a monitor that doesn’t try to read my emotions, and I’ll show you efficiency. This ‘light-based’ stuff, it’s just another layer of abstraction, another way to make things opaque and unmanageable. It’s like they’re building a grand cathedral to house a calculator. It looks impressive, sure, but what’s the point if you can’t even see the simple gears turning inside? It’s all just smoke and mirrors, or in this case, a whole lot of expensive light.

Conclusion: Just Give Me My Terminal

Honestly, I don’t see the big fuss. They’re just reinventing the wheel, but making it glow in the dark. Give me a solid state drive, a reliable operating system I can actually understand, and leave these ‘light computers’ to the folks who think their smart watch is going to save the world. All this talk of ‘efficiency’ just means they’re going to find new and more elaborate ways to waste our time and energy, all while pretending it’s progress. I’m telling you, the best computer is the one that just does what you tell it, without all this ‘thinking’ and ‘learning’ and ‘light-based’ nonsense. Now, where’s my UNIX manual?