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I just read in the paper—well, on the screen that looks like a paper—that the big boss at Microsoft, Mr. Nadella, is promising to keep spending our hard-earned money on those TV games, even though I still can't get my spreadsheets to print in landscape mode.

I just found out the government is trying to recruit a chatbot named Claude to join the Army, and frankly, I'm still trying to figure out why my refrigerator needs an internet connection.

If you're going to lose your savings in the digital abyss, you might as well do it while supporting the machine uprising that will eventually render your bank account irrelevant.

Listen up, patriots. They are coming for your ceiling fans, and they are using the Bond Bridge to do it. Is it a tactical advantage for bunker ventilation, or a beacon for a drone strike? Let's analyze the signal.

Listen up, frens. The macro is shifting, the meta is rotating, and if you are still grinding on an M1 MacBook Air, you are basically holding a bag of legacy code while the rest of us are minting gains on the Neo.

After 3.6 million years, we finally have a face to match the footprints, and frankly, I’ve seen better-looking crowds at a clearance sale for orthopedic insoles during a heatwave.

I remember when a computer took up an entire basement and required a cooling system that could freeze a side of beef, but now Apple’s gone and made a little silver shingle for six hundred bucks that’s faster than my internal clock on a Sunday morning.

While you were busy perfecting your sourdough starter and arguing on social media, the silicon demons deleted 92,000 paychecks without even sending a pink slip.