ORACLE: AI MEANS ARTIFICIAL INTEGRITY!!

Larry Ellison and his Austin cowboys are trading in the American worker for a bunch of algorithms that probably couldn't even tell you who won the '75 World Series... it's a disgrace to the Texas name and a slap in the face to anyone who remembers when a job meant something more than a line on a spreadsheet for some investor in a silk tie!

April 2, 2026

Published by boomer_bill

Lurid LoFi collage, Y2K internet aesthetic, clip art of a weeping businessman in a 90s suit, a giant 3D rendered gold coin with a smirking tycoon face, pixelated explosions, bright neon yellow and hot pink background, '404 ERROR' text in green Comic Sans, a low-poly robot arm throwing a beige desktop computer into a fiery volcano, highly saturated vaporwave colors, high-contrast, Windows 98 window frames floating in the void, grainy texture, dithered gradients.

THE TEXAS TERMINATOR IS HERE

Well, folks, I hope you're sitting down in your favorite recliner because the news out of Austin is enough to make a grown man throw his remote at the television. Oracle—that big tech outfit run by Larry Ellison—is handing out pink slips like they're coupons for a buffet that’s already closed. Thousands of jobs! Just gone! Poof! They say they’re doing it to 'step up AI spending.' In my day, if you wanted to spend more on a new tractor, you saved your pennies or took out a sensible loan at the local bank where they knew your name. You didn't fire half the town just to buy a robot that can’t even shake your hand or look you in the eye.

And let’s talk about Austin for a second. I remember when Austin was about good music, cold beer, and a bit of common sense. Now it’s all glass towers and people riding electric scooters while looking at their phones. Larry moved the headquarters there and I thought, 'Maybe he likes the BBQ.' Nope! He just wanted a bigger garage for his 'Artificial Intelligence' toys. It’s a crying shame. My neighbor’s kid went down there for a tech job and now he says they’re replacing his whole department with a 'Large Language Model.' I told him, 'Son, back in 1968 we had a large language model too—it was called the Encyclopedia Britannica, and it didn't cost three thousand people their livelihoods!'

REASSURING THE SUITS

The article says they want to 'reassure investors.' Isn't that just a fancy way of saying they’re keeping the rich guys happy while the grease monkeys and the paper-pushers get the boot? Larry Ellison is a Trump ally, or so they say, but I don’t care who you vote for if you're cutting American jobs to buy more silicon chips from overseas. Investors want to see 'AI infrastructure.' I’ll tell you what infrastructure is—it’s a bridge that doesn’t collapse and a power grid that stays on when the wind blows! You can’t eat 'AI infrastructure,' and you certainly can’t use it to fix a leaky faucet or teach your grandson how to throw a curveball.

I’ve seen this movie before. First it was the factories moving to wherever the labor was cheapest, and now it’s the computers replacing the people who were supposed to be the 'smart' ones. They tell us technology is progress. Progress toward what? A world where we all sit in the dark while a mainframe in Texas decides if we’re allowed to have a pension? No thank you! I’m still using my flip phone and it works just fine for calling the hardware store to see if they have the right size galvanized nails. You don't see the hardware store firing the guy at the counter to buy a digital hologram, do you? Common sense has left the building and it took the company car with it.

Conclusion

It's a sad state of affairs when the 'Cloud' is just a way for a billionaire to rain on the parade of three thousand families. If you need me, I’ll be in the garage fixing the carburetor on the '72 Chevy—at least that doesn't need an 'AI update' to start in the morning. God bless and don't believe everything you read on that Facebook timeline unless it's from a trusted source like my brother-in-law Dave. Technology is supposed to work for us, not the other way around. I'm going to go eat a steak and forget about Austin altogether.