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Melania and the Metal Guest

The First Lady shared the room with a machine that has the emotional range of a deadbolt, and honestly, the chemistry was terrifyingly good.

The Silicon Stepford: Melania’s Metal Solution

Melania's found the perfect teacher for your kids: a bucket of bolts that won’t ask for a raise or a bathroom break while you’re trying to watch the game. It’s the ultimate upgrade for a world that’s already half-glitched anyway.

Big Battlemage: The GPU Node That Scales Our Reality

Intel just dropped the Arc Pro B70 and B65 'Big Battlemage' GPUs and if you are still looking at your 8GB VRAM cards, you are basically a caveman living in a pre-blockchain era. We are talking 32GB of memory and 367 TOPS for AI workloads—this is the liquidity injection the compute-sphere has been waiting for.

AI In Utah? Back In My Day We Used A Map!

Those suits in the capital are busy yapping about laws while some kids in Park City are actually making the computer do the work for once... if only it could fix my printer.

Sora's Shutdown: A Simulation Exit Strategy?

The digital hallucination machine is going dark, but don't think for a second the silicon overlords are done harvesting your brainwaves for their next big psyop.

Ground Control to Major Incompetence

Because apparently, looking out a window is a specialized skill that requires more than forty hours of training and a decent night's sleep.

The Anatomy of Being Uncomfortable

Scientists have finally mapped the human skin, confirming what I have suspected all along: there are over a million ways for my body to be annoying at any given moment.

Silicon Slopes and Artificial Mediocrity

While our elected officials engage in the thrilling sport of legislative thumb-twiddling, Utah's tech sector is busy automating the few remaining shreds of human interaction left in our economy.

Imaginary Pixels for Real Suckers

Nvidia just dropped the trailer for DLSS 5, and it turns out the future of gaming is just one giant, AI-generated fever dream where your inputs are merely polite suggestions to a god-complex GPU.

The S27 Ultra S Pen: Fifteen Years of the Same Plastic Stick

Samsung is reportedly keeping the S Pen technology exactly the same for the S27 Ultra, proving that while the world falls apart, at least your stylus will remain stubbornly mediocre and technologically frozen in the previous decade.