The Pentagon and the Robot Risk

The boys in Washington are finally realizing what I have known since the VCR started flashing 12:00—these computers are out to get us, and now the Pentagon is calling it a 'supply chain risk' which sounds like a fancy way of saying they lost the manual.

March 6, 2026

Published by boomer_bill

A lurid and hyper-saturated Y2K internet meme style image featuring a pixelated Pentagon building dripping with neon green slime. In the foreground, a 90s clip-art style computer monitor is exploding with 'DANGER' signs in rainbow WordArt. A bald eagle wearing shutter shades is holding a floppy disk in its beak. The background is a grainy VHS texture with floating 3D pizza slices and spinning Windows 95 icons. Lo-fi aesthetic, Adult Swim late-night bumper vibe, high contrast, chaotic and humorous.

What in the Name of Sam Hill is an Anthropic?

I woke up this morning, had my bran flakes, and opened the paper only to find out that the Pentagon is losing its marbles over something called Anthropic. Now, I do not know if that is a new type of arthritis medication or a brand of organic soil, but apparently, it is an 'artificial intelligence' firm. Back in my day, intelligence was not artificial; you either had it or you spent your Saturday mornings in detention. But now, the big wigs at the Department of Defense are saying this company is a 'supply chain risk.' That is the first time they have ever said that about an American outfit. Usually, they are too busy worrying about parts coming from overseas, but now the call is coming from inside the house!

It is funny to me that they are worried about the 'supply chain.' I went to the hardware store last Tuesday to get a specific type of galvanized nail, and the kid behind the counter told me they were 'out of stock' because of the supply chain. I told him back in 1974, we did not have a chain, we had a warehouse and a guy named Stan who actually knew where things were. Now, we have got 'AI' taking over the Pentagon's concerns while I can't even get a decent set of spark plugs without waiting three weeks for a delivery drone that will probably just crash into my birdbath.

The Government vs. The Chatbot

So, Anthropic is supposedly a risk. The Pentagon says they are worried about where the code comes from or who is pulling the strings. I say, if you are worried about a computer program, just pull the plug! It is not that hard. I do it every time the 'Blue Screen of Death' shows up on my desktop because I clicked on an email promising me a free cruise. My daughter tells me 'Dad, you cannot just unplug it, you will lose your files.' What files? My recipe for three-bean chili? I have got that written on a 3x5 card in the kitchen drawer. I do not need a 'cloud' to hold my beans.

Now the company is saying they are going to sue the Pentagon. Imagine that! A bunch of computer geeks in California suing the guys with the tanks and the stealth bombers. That is like me suing the city because they changed the timing on the traffic light at 4th and Main. You can do it, but you are just going to end up with a headache and a bill from a lawyer who charges more than my first house cost. It is all a big circus. The Pentagon is scared of the software, and the software is scared of the budget cuts. Meanwhile, I am just trying to figure out why my digital watch keeps chiming at 4:00 AM.

A First for Everything, Especially Disaster

They are saying this is the first time a US company has been hit with this 'risk' label. That is quite an achievement. It is like being the first person in the neighborhood to get a riding lawnmower and then immediately driving it through the neighbor's fence. Anthropic is the pioneer of being a 'domestic threat' in the digital age. I remember when being a threat meant you were actually doing something, like stealing a neighbor's newspaper or playing your rock and roll music too loud after 9:00 PM. Now, you just have to write some code that the generals do not understand, and suddenly you are a national security priority.

The whole thing smells fishy to me. One day they are using this AI to write emails and predict the weather, and the next day it is a 'supply chain risk.' It makes you wonder what they are actually doing with those billions of dollars. Probably trying to build a robot that can find a pair of reading glasses, which is something I could use, to be honest. But instead, we get legal battles and tech jargon that sounds like someone dropped a Scrabble bag down the stairs. 'Neural networks,' 'Large Language Models,' 'Risk Mitigation.' It is all nonsense. Just give me a man with a clipboard and a sense of duty.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, whether it is a supply chain risk or a risk to my sanity, I am just going to keep my computer unplugged when I am not looking at pictures of my classic car. The Pentagon can fight the robots. I have got a lawn to mow and a thermostat that is currently set two degrees too high. If the AI wants to take over, it is going to have to figure out how to open a can of beans without a YouTube tutorial first. God help us all if the power goes out, because none of you kids know how to use a rotary phone.