All Articles

Microsoft's 'New' Light Show: Another Brick in the Wall of Over-Complication

An aging engineer rants about Microsoft's 'new' light-based computer, finding it to be an unnecessary complication and another step towards technological overreach, all while pining for the simplicity of command-line computing.

DoorDash's 'Pain and Suffering': A Billionaire's Lament, My Ass

A droll take on a tech CEO's lament about the 'pain and suffering' of developing autonomous delivery, highlighting the stark contrast between corporate challenges and the realities of gig-worker life.

The Goddamn iPhone 17 and Your "ProMotion" Pipe Dream

This article eviscerates the perpetual tech upgrade cycle, specifically targeting the consumer obsession with features like ProMotion displays. It questions the true necessity of these advancements, likening the constant desire for new technology to a futile chase, and urges readers to focus on real-world experiences rather than digital enhancements.

IFA's 'Coolest Gadgets': More Like 'Warm Piles of Horseshit'

This scathing article eviscerates the hype and ridiculousness of 'cutting-edge' gadgets showcased at tech events, lambasting the so-called innovations as nothing more than polished turds designed to separate fools from their money. It's a foul-mouthed critique of the tech industry's obsession with superficial progress.

Pixel 10 Pro: A Centralized Relic in a Decentralized World!

This article critiques the Google Pixel 10 Pro, arguing it's a missed opportunity for decentralized hardware. The author, a disillusioned Web3 acolyte, proposes tokenizing phone features, creating a device governed by its users, and earning crypto rewards for phone usage.

Mars's Core: Solid, But Is It Emotionally Available?

A droll take on the 'groundbreaking' discovery of Mars's solid core, questioning the priorities of space exploration while navigating the absurdities of tech culture and the existential dread of modern life.

Sainthood in the Age of Selfies: What in God's Name is Happening?

An old-school engineer rants about the Catholic Church's new millennial saint, decrying the reliance on 'fancy phones' and the bewildering concept of 'influencers,' while accidentally making profound observations about the digital age.

Saint Acutis: The NWO's Digital Deception & The Bitcoin Betrayal

Discover the shocking truth behind the Catholic Church's new millennial saint, Carlo Acutis, and how his digital influence is a sinister plot by the New World Order to establish a one-world government and undermine the true value of Bitcoin. A must-read for anyone who sees through the globalist agenda.

Holiest of Hoaxes: When 'God's Influencer' Ain't So Influential anymore!

'God's Influencer' canonized. Lambasting the Catholic Church for its use of tech-bro lingo and its desperate attempts to remain relevant, all while eviscerating the concept of a 'millennial saint.'

These Damn Ear-Thimbles and Their "Leaks"! I Blame Steve Jobs' Ghost!

A cranky former IBM engineer rants about the new AirPods Pro 3, lamenting their "smart" features, health sensors, and real-time translation, all while accidentally revealing profound insights into tech dystopia.